A Family's Heartbreak: A Parent's Introduction to Parental Alienation

	Jeffries, Michael
	Stamford, Connecticut USA : Family’s Heartbreak LLC, © 2009
	Davies, Joel Dr.
	http://afamilysheartbreak.com/
Book 313 pp	ISBN 9780979696015    097969011
Synopsis A Family's Heartbreak: A Parent's Introduction to Parental Alienation, is the true story of one parent’s struggle to maintain a normal, loving relationship with his young son in the face of overwhelming odds. From the emotionally devastating actions of the child's other parent, to a court system and mental health community ill-Introduction to Parental Alienation, is both an education in parental alienation and an eye opening experience for parents who don't believe this could happen to them. “It’s been a very gratifying two years,” explains author Mike Jeffries. ”If you would have told me when I was writing A Family’s Heartbreak in the small apartment I moved to during the divorce that my words would reach parents in places as far away as the U.K., Canada, Israel, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and countless other countries I wouldn’t have believed it. It just goes to show how universal the problem of parental alienation is and how hungry parents, legal and mental health professionals are for objective information. Introduction to A Family’s Heartbreak IN THE SPAN OF SEVEN DAYS I filed for divorce, was arrested and falsely accused of child abuse. I also walked into a clinic with all the symptoms of a heart attack. But you know what? Those events were the high points of my week. Divorce, arrests, child abuse charges and heart attacks are like marching in the Disney World parade compared to the world of parental alienation. The concept of parental alienation is pretty simple – one parent deliberately damages, and in some cases destroys, the previously healthy, loving relationship between his or her child and the child’s other parent. In a severe case the alienating parent and child work together to successfully eliminate the previously loved Mom or Dad from the child’s life. My introduction to parental alienation began on the night of July 14, 2004. Until that night my 11-year-old son and I had a wonderful relationship. By the early morning hours of July 15, 2004 we didn’t have a relationship. I know what you’re thinking – a normal, healthy father/son relationship doesn’t go from hugs to heartbreak in a few hours. I believed the same thing. I was wrong. Parental alienation is like a train barreling through a dark tunnel with its lights off. I was standing in the middle of the tracks when the train emerged from the darkness. I never saw it coming. Of course, now I can look back and say I should have at least heard the train coming. Now I can point to things my then-wife said to my son one and even two years before that might have set off alarms in my mind. But my son and I had a normal, healthy relationship. I couldn’t conceive that any parent would do something so emotionally destructive to his or her child. What I didn’t realize is that a variety of emotional issues could combine with the anger, hurt and bitterness of divorce to drive some people to unimaginably vindictive and destructive heights. On that July night my attorney hadn’t even finished drafting my divorce complaint when my future ex-wife started screaming at me within earshot of my son. According to her I was solely responsible for our impending divorce. “Your father is abandoning us,” she told him. My ex-wife had my son sleep in her bed that night. He was still sleeping in her bed when I moved out of the house one month later. “I need you to protect me,” she kept telling him. Before I moved out, I couldn’t even get him to have dinner with me. “Please don’t leave me,” Mom begged him. “I don’t want to be alone.” I’ve learned a lot about parental alienation since those first nights. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands. As I write this, I haven’t spent any time alone with my son in almost three years. One thing I’ve learned is that an alienating parent is only interested in filling his or her unhealthy emotional needs at the expense of the other parent and their child. The alienating parent doesn’t understand that he or she is also hurting the child by forcing the kid to choose a side in the parental conflict. I’ve also learned that parental alienation is not just a single crime against the other parent, but three crimes against the child.